Doobie Doobie Doo-Wop: “Why do you hate the shape of breasts in plate armor so much?”

Doobie Doobie Doo-Wop: “Why do you hate the shape of breasts in plate armor so much?”

martwhim:

Since people often ask “Alright, well this is fantasy!  Why can’t we have boob shapes in plate armor?!”  I decided to make a post about it.  My frustration hasnothing to do with historical inaccuracy and I’m all for imagination and freedom— but I’d like to (very quickly) illustrate this for you:

image

I purposely over-emphasized the shape of the two spheres in the armor so you can really think about this. 

Look at the shape of the blue cups and the green line, think about the form of that on some beautiful ornate plate armor.  A female warrior is charging into battle.  In the midst of this, she trips!  Or is pushed over, or takes a blow to the chest!  So long as the force is on the front of her torso it really doesn’t matter for the conclusion:

She feels a sharp pain in her chest and hears the cracking of bone!  Oh no, what’s gone wrong?  Well she doesn’t have time to think about that, because she is now dead.

Her sternum just fractured, take another look at that green line, that’s where all of the pressure from any front impact is going to go because of the shape of the two blue cups made for her breasts.  The rest of the armor slides around your body, but because of the two cups for breasts that are often made in fantasy female armors, the pressure point is directly on the sternum.  The breasts are not going to stop the force of you falling onto them, and because of that the metal is going to push in and bash you in the sternum.

image

What does a fractured sternum do?  Why it goes right into your heart and lungs of course.

(that was the sound of all of my followers inhaling a sharp breath between closed teeth at once)

Here are three great solutions to the problem:

image

image

GREAT EXAMPLE OF FANTASY TORSO ARMOR THAT IS FEMININE BUT FUNCTIONAL:

image

It is usually possible to bind the breasts when fighting if they really are far too large to fit into regular looking armor (there’s padding anyway), but most women can actually fit into a similarly sized male counterpart’s armor quite easily.  Even if that’s the case, the armor can be made to have a curve to it without putting all of the pressure in one area, which was actually a style of armor for quite some time as shown here:

image

And don’t even get me started on the dreaded “Cleavage Window”

The “Cleavage Window” defeats the purpose of having any armor on your torso because it means you’re just going to be leaving open the vital organs the rest of the armor is trying to protect.

If people are going to protect themselves and not have much torso protection, invest in some blocking lessons, because the best defense is to not get hit at all.  There are also advantages to not having plate armor, and plate armor was often really expensive anyway.

— Edit —

image

supaslim replied to your post“Why do you hate the shape of breasts in plate armor so much?”

I’d also like to add that boob bulges direct blows straight to the sternum as well, rather than making them glance to either side. Good post.

This week’s throwback: one of the very first posts I reblogged and a big inspiration for BABD even existing. It is THE Boobplate Post – one with the most comprehensive explanations why semi-spherical individual compartments for each boob in armor are an awful, awful idea. 

To reiterate briefly, boobplate:

  • is uncomfortable
  • doesn’t provide breast support that actual bras/corsets do
  • ignores how many silhouette-changing layers of padding go underneath plate armor
  • directs blows to the wearer’s heart (a.k.a. guarantees painful death instead of preventing it)

~Ozzie

see other good articles about impracticality of boobplate: here, here, here. here and here

h/t: @whydontyouhateithere who recently asked about boobplates

E3 Roundup

So, another E3 has come and gone and there’s been time for examination, follow up by developers, etc.  As you may have guessed, there’s a lot going on and a lot to unpack. 

For a general overview of gender and the theme of games, I recommend checking out the breakdown of this year’s E3 by @femfreq.  The general gist, there’s a lot more gender incorporation than last year, but still more than three times with male protagonists as female.

For the representation of the female characters in the violent games, well as you’d expect there’s wild variation but way too much of it is still in the bikini armor or other worrying trope zone.

In the interests of not ruining your feed, the positive examples will be on the front post and the rest below the cut.

– wincenworks

I also highly recommend checking out Tauriq Moosa’s article at @ineeddiversegames​:

The Violent Banality of E3 & the Need for Better

Positive Examples

Anthem by Bioware

While some of the civilian costumes seem a little worrying, however the core gameplay uses slick gender neutral armors that are engineered for efficiency. (Gameplay trailer) (Official Site)

image

Star Wars: Battlefront 2 by EA DICE

Due to the history of the property and the nature of the game, there’s better odds of generally getting to play an adorkable robot with a gun than a woman in the multi-player. However, seeing Iden Versio as the single player lead was a very pleasant and welcome surprise.  Also the multiplayer will allow opportunities to play as Rey.
(Gameplay Trailer) (Official Site)

image

Dishonored: Death of the Outsider by Arkane Studios

Badass black lady assassin with a mechanical eye, mechanical arm and excellent suit! And Harvey Smith talking with @femfreq​ about how criticism helped Dishonored come so far.
(Gameplay trailer) (Official site)

image

Absolver by Sloclap

Unsurprisingly Absolver still looks amazing both with character design and the concept of being a fighting game where players benefit most from mutual respect and 
(Gameplay video) (Official Site)

image

Overland by Finji

Charming art style that provides great personality to the characters and treats the female characters with equal dignity.
(Overland @ E3 2017 on Cliqist) (Official Site)

image

Ni no Kuni 2 by Studio Gibli

Adorable production from Gibli Studios that demonstrates how much personality, actual creativity and expression you can fit into a production when you don’t handcuff yourself to tired tropes born of old myths.
(Developer interview and gameplay video) (Official Site)

image

Metroid: Samus Returns by Nintendo

A tentative status as a positive example. Samus’ armor is significantly more form fitting than it was in the original Metroid 2 – but it’s great to see her back in a game that’s about her kicking ass in her power armor, with a bunch of enhancements to the gameplay experience.
(Game Reveal Video) (Official Site)

image

Not bad, but not great

Far Cry 5 by Ubisoft

Announced it will use a character creator, but traditionally Far Cry games have shown you precious little of your player character since they take place entirely through first person perspective.  But, it’s definitely worth mentioning Grace Armstrong, a woman of color who will aid you as a well clad sniper.

image

Monster Hunter by Capcom

The new game was announced but there’s not enough info to know how many of their costumes will be great and how many will be terrible. Particularly since they only showed gameplay with a male character.


Games that depicted amazing action with no female protagonists:

  • God of War: Be A Warrior
  • Spider-man
  • Assassin’s Creed: Origins,

Unfortunate Surprises

Beyond Good and Evil 2 by Ubisoft

The original Beyond Good and Evil starred Jade, a heroic, well dressed woman of color with a pig as her sidekick. The trailer for the sequel has no Jade, but rather a trend of women as the decorative sidekick to animals who seem to parody cultures.  And well, this happens in it.

image

It’s kind of a shame since the game is amazing at depicting black hair.


Uncharted 4: The Lost Legacy

I was really hoping to be able to include this one as a positive example, but honestly it’s hard to given that the extended gameplay trailer features a nonsensical twist that results in a minute and a half sequence of an Indian man glorifying human sacrifice while, in the background, a pair of generic guards beat on Nadine and hold her down like she’s a generic civilian in the background.  No gif because I very, very sincerely hope none of our followers want to watch a black woman beaten and humiliated for cheap dramatic effect.

image

The pants and t-shits combinations of the protagonists are uninspired at best and seem to be trying to hedge in on sex appeal.  Overall though, I’m not in any way convinced this is going to give either character the same opportunities that Nate and Sully got in every previous Uncharted game.


Vampyr by Dontnod

The trailer looks so good for the first three minutes, Victorian vampires without any detours into the male gaze or manipulation of the setting to get more skin in… then this shows up on the screen:

image

No female combatants in the gameplay displayed. Given the female character that does appear and Dontnod’s history, I can only assume this was a concession to the publisher.


Predictable Usual Suspects

Bloodstained: Ritual of Night by Koji Igarashi

Seems to be drifting away from being a gender-flipped love letter to the Castlevania and looking more and more like a cheap game hacked together with generic store-bought assets and all the creative focus on sexy outfits and sexy scenarios for the female characters.

image

Agents of Mayhem by Violition

The standard issue fair of the guys get big coats, body armor, etc and the female playable characters get weird harnesses to frame their boobs.  Combine that with your demo target is a male performer who incorporates his sex appeal and this is pretty generic nonsense in denial.

image

Call of Duty: WWII by Sledgehammer Games

You may be surprised at this mention since there is quite a bit of buzz about how the Multiplayer will allow character customization that incorporates race and gender etc.  Well that’s because the only way we know about this is 2nd hand reports from people who got to trial it and a tweet.

image

Blade Strangers by Studio Saizensen

Blade Strangers was already featured on BABD as perhaps the worst game, though perhaps we should have proposed an alternative title: “Did ANYONE ask for this?”  Sadly it appears we were optimistic in this assessment.


Senran Kagura: Peach Beach Splash by Tamsoft

Okay so a game about young girls in bikinis running around shooting each other with water guns is kind of questionable to begin with, but when one of the bosses is defeated by blasting bubbles off her nude body and the trailer highlights a “soak their white bikini” mini-game you’ve gone past “I can’t believe it’s not porn” and into “disturbing and creepy” territory.

So, to go alongside the Wonder Woman movie, DC Comics has released this series of fantasy / superhero comics: Amazons of

Themyscira. They seem to have a lot of potential and a lot going for them.  Including a rather diverse cast. But, well there’s some common themes with the first three (primary) covers:

image
image
image

And well, the first page of the first issue:

It really makes you wonder who this DC Comics was hoping to sell this comic to.  I mean if there was ever a series where they should have felt comfortable dropping the old myth sacred among marketing departments and just making a comic that’ll appeal people who like warrior women… this was it.

At least it seems they’ve moved away from this and toward imagery that is both more badass and more referential to the topical movie.

– wincenworks

What is video games’ problem with sniper women?

They can’t just be competent combatant ladies who shoot stuff (like male snipers in media always are), there needs to be some “sexy” gimmick to them, apparently. Like navel-deep cleavage and brainwash, breathing through skin or, now… being helpless schoolgirls with clothing damage and panty shots galore? 

image

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

(And no, no available info suggests it’s an erotic/porn game)

The game itself looks dreadfully dull. And since only footage I could find of it seems to be sponsored by the publisher, it’s safe to say that sex doesn’t really sell, otherwise this would have had fans.

~Ozzie