Allen submitted:
You’re telling me that sort of armor is…impractical??
I ran across this slideshow showing impractical suits of armor and had to share. Most of the images are men in massive, bulky, spiky, armor sets and these are rightly condemned by a guest commentator who is a metallurgist and armorer.
There aren’t too many women in the mix but they all are wearing ridiculously skimpy armor replete with metal butt floss, armored half-breasts, and lots and lots of bare skin. The most egregious are above and they are #1, #5, and #14. There are some others just as bad but these are the clearest images.
The guest commentator points out the useful parts of the armor and the useless parts for both genders. Not surprisingly, he doesn’t have very much good to say about the female armor besides “WTF?”
I guess as long as you have heavy eye make-up you’re ready to go into battle? Or something.
I imagine if Frodo had been a woman in a fantasy video game, sexy female Bilbo would have handed down her special mithril string bikini to wear under her clothes. And then she would have been killed when the cave troll stabs her. And then we’d have gotten a nice clear CGI butt shot of sexy female Sam clutching her dead body (sexily, of course).
Definitely gonna reference the article/slideshow in the future!
Always great to have professional commentary on armor design and how absurd leaps of ’coolness rule’ it tends to take in media, especially when somehow ‘coolness’ equates to nudity for female characters.