This week on Blizzard Does Women Better, Watch as they introduce a new hero to their free MOBA Heroes of the Storm via sexy demon skins for the ladies! How Original™!

The three lucky ladies are Jaina, Zagara and Sonya (from left to right):

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(Though, don’t be fooled by that awesome concept art of Sonya, her in-game model is of smaller frame and has no defined muscles.)

So let’s take these in order, shall we?

Jaina is an ice wizard (basically) whose regular outfit just looks really stupid, besides not making any sense. Her demon skin replaces her 70s pants with booty shorts, and while she does gain “armor,” it’s in the laziest possible way. [x]

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Her design brings to mind the Draenor, rather than demons. It’s so generic, I don’t even have anything to say… And what’s with the colors?

As for Zagara, you may notice that she is not even a person. She’s the “Broodmother of the Swarm,” an “ant queen” type of creature; she doesn’t even have a face, despite that strange exoskeleton boobplate. The maw in the front of her bug abdomen spews various things in combat. So of course her demon skin makes her Hot Bug Lady. [x]

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I mean, we know she has weird bug arms and huge bubbling pustules on her insect-like abdomen, but look at those titties! This is the second Zagara skin that gives her a sexy face, but why include her in this particular promotion at all, for the release of a lich character from WoW? Do they think their zerg-birthing monster needs more sexy lady skins to even out the fact that she’s a bug? ಠ_ಠ

Finally, we have Sonya, the lady barbarian from Diablo III. Her demon skin still reveals about as much as her regular, although for some reason she has platform shoes now? This is called the Death Knight. Much spooky. [x]

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Also, the design screams “we didn’t know how to make her demonic.” There is a skull on every piece of armor she’s wearing, and her weapons! This is even more baffling when you realize that this skin came out concurrently with the Deathbringer skin: 

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It’s the exact same skin (save for the weapons), except no spooky scary helmet, and actual padding under her armor… so why?? Why did they take the padding away from the Death Knight skin? I thought they were just doing the typical fantasy barbarian thing, where they sort of wear kind-of clothes, but apparently not!

Doing women better, though.

-Icy

So, Blizzard has announced to more playable characters coming up for Heroes of the Storm.  Chromie and Medivh, and in an attempt to perhaps distract from how terrible the outfit is, the trailer features “super creepy future (Chromie)”, who is skin option:

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Of course, the announcement also includes that there will be a new skin for Nova! One based off an Overwatch character! Can you guess which of it’s “improved” line up that Blizzard have chosen?

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But remember: Blizzard is trying.

Not trying very hard, in fact possibly trying harder to avoid improving too much than they are on improving… but they’re trying.

Allegedly.

– wincenworks

A few people were concerned that we shouldn’t be harsh on Nova as she (or at least her boobplate) appeared in a recent Blizzard ad.  However given that Heroes of the Storm got it’s own concept art and many people did write in to tell us how awesome Johanna’s (bottom right) design is… it just begs one question.

Does Blizzard actually have an official policy of “One or two good examples so we can get good press and a feminist cookie – then go back to sexy designs.” and if so is it posted to the walls in their art department?  Also do the have one that says “Remember: Female midriffs are impervious to damage!” ?

Because I Johanna’s outfit certainly shows a lot of promise but… why is the least armored part of every character the squishy bits where they keep the vital organs?

– wincenworks

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